“The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
I have a good friend, James, who writes a Gratitude blog each day, and today he posted this and it touched my heart because it is true.
Maybe I will search for the rest of my life, I don’t know, but I have to be ok with that. I have to also guard my heart as it belonged to someone for such a long time; was full of him, but he was vanquished not too long ago. He was vanquished completely. I filled the void with the love I have for my family….for the babies…who I am absolutely IN LOVE with….and that was enough.
Then I opened my heart just a bit for someone and he is in there….but I had to pull the door to just a bit. He calls it the screen door.
For some reason I must show toughness when it comes to my heart. And after my ST John’s Medical Center visit in the Cardiac unit, I know my heart is strong and healthy and pumping away….so technically my heart is full of blood. But I don’t like being vulnerable. I do not like it at all.
Someone told me yesterday that in my heart we have an incredible creation. What does that mean? I don’t know. Someone? anyone explain that.
I don’t want people to know what is really in my heart and head because if they see the real me, they might not like me. Wow, I just said that….