Deciding What Not to Change
The following questions will help couples identify what not to change about their relationship:
1. What did each of you miss most about the other person?
2. What did each of you miss most about the relationship?
3. What were your fondest memories of the time you spent together previously?
4. Which aspects of the relationship work best?
Deciding What to Change/Work On
The following questions will help couples target a couple of things to do differently once their separation is over. The more specific they can be in their suggestions and answers, the easier it will be for them to work on change:
1. Which aspects of the relationship could be improved? What changes might improve them?
2. What would you like the other person to do differently (include small and large items)?
3. What one behavior would you like the other person to abolish entirely if possible?
4. What aspects of your lives together need to be renegotiated (e.g., house or parenting responsibilities)?
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – St. Francis of Assisi