This morning at 6 a.m., I had showered and was in my bedroom deciding what to wear and thinking how sore my legs always are now. I picked up my cell phone and there was a text message sent to me at midnight. It read, “I am committing to another monogamous relationship tonight…”
It is like the episode from Sex and the City where the guy breaks up with Carrie on a Post It.
Let that sink in for just a moment. The message was sent via text to my cell phone when he knew I would be asleep. Here was my thought process:
First, it was “What?!” I typed that as my reply. Then I put the phone down and went about getting ready to get to work. I walked into the bathroom to start the makeup process and looked up and saw these words: “BE STRONG”.
Well, I certainly got my answer to all the meditating and praying I have done. I will not respond again to the text message. I will not engage via text, I will not ask for or say anything via text as it is a cold and irresponsible and chicken shit way of communicating to someone when the message is so personal.
I realize now that the person I thought I knew was not the man he claimed. He is a boy. And that helps tremendously. There is no heartbreaking, stress-filled angst for me today. My internal thought process this morning has been this, pretty much in order.
- Oh well
- What an asshole
- What a liar
- He just lost the best person he’ll ever have
- Be a man
- and that is the last he’ll ever hear of me
- be strong
- you cannot imagine the level of fuck I do not give
- What goes around comes around