Respect, Maturity, and Doing the Right Thing


This morning at 6 a.m., I had showered and was in my bedroom deciding what to wear and thinking how sore my legs always are now.  I picked up my cell phone and there was a text message sent to me at midnight.  It read, “I am committing to another monogamous relationship tonight…”

It is like the episode from Sex and the City where the guy breaks up with Carrie on a Post It.

Let that sink in for just a moment.   The message was sent via text to my cell phone when he knew I would be asleep.   Here was my thought process:

First, it was “What?!”  I typed that as my reply.  Then I put the phone down and went about getting ready to get to work.  I walked into the bathroom to start the makeup process and looked up and saw these words:  “BE STRONG”.

Well, I certainly got my answer to all the meditating and praying I have done.  I will not respond again to the text message.  I will not engage via text, I will not ask for or say anything via text as it is a cold and irresponsible and chicken shit way of communicating to someone when the message is so personal.

I realize now that the person I thought I knew was not the man he claimed.  He is a boy.  And that helps tremendously.  There is no heartbreaking, stress-filled angst for me today.  My internal thought process this morning has been this, pretty much in order.

  • Oh well
  • What an asshole
  • What a liar
  • He just lost the best person he’ll ever have
  • Be a man
  • and that is the last he’ll ever hear of me
  • be strong
  • you cannot imagine the level of fuck I do not give
  • What goes around comes around
The sad thing for him is that if he had “manned-up” and called or been honest from the beginning, I would have dealt with it and we probably would have solidified a pretty incredible friendship.  But the way the relationship was handled was shoddy at best, weak, and disrespectful and hurtful.
People who are afraid to face up to an issue, who run, who think by not communicating are not hurting someone.  Their actions are immature, no matter their age.  To demand respect, one must give it.
To quote a good friend of mine when I told him:  “A text break-up is not acceptable.  A real man doesn’t do that.”  Another good friend, also a man, said, “asshole.  No class.”
I’m going forward with my life and my relationships with good, honest, kind, loving friends and an amazing family.  I am working harder on myself every day.  No yelling, no demanding an explanation.  It happened, I learned, I am better than that and he is gone from my heart.
My message to him is…
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2 thoughts on “Respect, Maturity, and Doing the Right Thing

  1. Whether you see clearly or not, you are growing and becoming more completely your turest self. I read it in what you write here…

    Oh, in reference to your “Be Strong” mantra… you are “incredibly strong”. I hope you can see that.

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