This is hard. Accepting what I am isn’t the tough part…accepting all that I’ve been is the tricky one for me. There have been times in my past that I am not particularly proud of. But, yes, I did it; I was that.
I’ve been lazy. I’ve been depressed. I’ve been funny, I’ve been happy, I’ve been bitchy, I’ve been kind. I’ve said things I shouldn’t have, I didn’t say something when I should have.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” I choose to become happy and healthy. I choose to be kind. I choose to be helpful. I choose to be happy with who I am, warts and all. (I don’t actually have warts).
To all the men I’ve loved before….not sure why that is important in this post. I started thinking back on all the things I’ve done and thought of the men that were important in my life. I started thinking if I will ever be “in love” again. Not longing just thinking. I should say that if I will be “in love with a good man”. Because anything less than a good man isn’t worth my time. I’ve loved some wonderful men….and now I take a part of them with into each relationship. I’ve learned to remember the good, remember the laughter, and the good…and forgive any transgressions. But there really weren’t that many transgressions…just a few.
There are some past loves I think of time to time…with a warm memory.
I am accepting that my life is just fine…and that it can only be finer with my desire to improve and grow as a kind human being. I am accepting that I might never be in love again or loved again. I’m just going to be and see where that takes me.