Acceptance


“When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are, all that you’ve been and all that you will be in the future.”

This is hard.  Accepting what I am isn’t the tough part…accepting all that I’ve been is the tricky one for me.  There have been times in my past that I am not particularly proud of.  But, yes, I did it; I was that.

I’ve been lazy.  I’ve been depressed.  I’ve been funny, I’ve been happy, I’ve been bitchy, I’ve been kind.  I’ve said things I shouldn’t have, I didn’t say something when I should have.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”  I choose to become happy and healthy.  I choose to be kind.  I choose to be helpful.  I choose to be happy with who I am, warts and all.  (I don’t actually have warts).

To all the men I’ve loved before….not sure why that is important in this post.  I started thinking back on all the things I’ve done and thought of the men that were important in my life.  I started thinking if I will ever be “in love” again.  Not longing just thinking.  I should say that if I will be “in love with a good man”.  Because anything less than a good man isn’t worth my time.  I’ve loved some wonderful men….and now I take a part of them with into each relationship.  I’ve learned to remember the good, remember the laughter, and the good…and forgive any transgressions.  But there really weren’t that many transgressions…just a few.

There are some past loves I think of time to time…with a warm memory.

I am accepting that my life is just fine…and that it can only be finer with my desire to improve and grow as a kind human being.  I am accepting that I might never be in love again or loved again.  I’m just going to be and see where that takes me.  

 

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