Friday Ramblings


Young souls use pain to learn how things are.

Mature souls use pain to learn how else things might be.

And old souls use pain to learn how else they might be. 

Last night I told a friend about myself a bit.  I used to be a very private, closed person.  I didn’t let others see me, see the real me.  I am still working on that issue.  I was closed because I was unhappy.  I didn’t want people to see inside, to see the pain, the unhappiness, the real me.  I was afraid if they saw it they wouldn’t like me.  I projected what I thought they wanted to see.

I told this same friend that he was difficult to get close to.  I sat back after he responded and thought, “wow, I was so inconsiderate of his feelings.”  He has many things going on, all very stressful.  I have no way to help him though I wish I could.  He is a kind, intelligent, wonderful guy and I want all things good to happen for him.  I guess the “fixer” came out a bit and I realized that I cannot fix this situation.  Well, I can, but he wouldn’t accept it.

Did I mention he’s a bit of Minnesota stubborn?

That is definitely Pot calling Kettle black.  I am much better than I used to be about it.  Wow, in the past when I didn’t want to do something, I would dig in and refuse.

I also am tremendously protective of friends and family.  I do not like to hear criticism from outsiders about my family or my friends.  It brings out the lioness in me.  I feel protective of them and their feelings.  I guess part of me feels like I’m strong enough and have thick enough skin to take on their nay sayers for them so that they don’t have to bear the brunt of an attack.  

I am all for peaceful protest.  I support it when there is a real cause.  Last night I was alerted by a friend that the Occupy Tulsa group was holding a candlelit vigil for an accused murderer.  The man he murdered was a close friend.  I went off on Occupy Tulsa.  There cause is weak; most of them have no clue what the Occupy Wall street movement is all about and darned sure don’t have an idea about why they are camping out in a park playing with the iPhone their parents bought them.

When I saw that the OT protestors were made up primarily of high school students who were told erroneous information, I blasted back.  They should have been holding the vigil for the victim’s family.

It’s my nature….but I am better.  And I am very open…I even told two personal stories today at lunch about me and stupid things I have done….things that only a few people knew before.  They don’t embarrass me now and I just don’t care what others think of my past.

 

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