High Blood Pressure & a Very Merry Christmas or whatever

I am seated in my office and can hear one of my co-workers in her most stressed-out voice to date.

She is so wound up we are teasing her about slipping something in her coffee to calm her down.

She is one of those people who ALLOWS others to pile and pile and pile work onto her plate without ever saying NO.

There is a beauty in saying NO.  She also works for an ass, but she allows him to continue to be an ass to her.  All she has to say is this “you are the manager, that is your responsibility.  If you want me to get this task accomplished, you will do that yourself.”  Simple.  In other words.  No.

No, I’m tired of your bullshit.

No, I’m busy.

No, I’m already working 60 hours a week.

To allow yourself to get so overwhelmed, to not ask for help when help surrounds you, is a mistake.

I know this.  First hand.  Well, I have never had the difficulty in telling others NO.  And I usually say exactly what I think.  But I used to let problems and concerns fester inside; I probably still do…until they built up and built up and the stress got me.

It pains me to hear it going on two offices down.  It pains me that although we have offered our assistance to her, she won’t have it.  I suppose she thinks there is some kind of shame in asking.  I’ve been there, too.

There is no shame in trying, asking, and admitting.

If you think you know everything, you know very little.  The trick is, when asking for help, to retain the answer in some form.  Unfortunately, for the woman down the row, she doesn’t.  She panics, obtains information, and forgets it so she cannot apply it.  We’ve all tried to help her.  She is going to either lose her mind, or have a stroke.  Just stand up for yourself and say “No, unh uh, not now.”

Enough about that…. I am happy this Christmas.  I am calm and happy and so much better than this time last year.  Last year I was building up to one big stress attack.  The words I kept saying in the ER were “Please God don’t let me die.”

I really thought I was having a heart attack and then the already stress-induced panic was causing me to think if I was having a heart attack I would die.  I didn’t want that.  With every fiber in my being I did not.  I am not ready.

I am happy today that I have my Christmas tree up and each evening I sit with a glass of Amaretto with all the lights off, only the Christmas tree glowing, and think.

I am happy because I have a Barbie wonderland in my dining room for my little Angels and I get to wrap them up and give them and see the delight in their faces.

I am happy because I have the perfect gift in mind for two close friends.  Trust me, gifts that took a lot of thought and questioning of other friends, to get them right.

I am happy because I am employed with a new contract.

I am happy because I am going forward with opening my company up again and working with a good friend and utilizing his talents.

I am happy because I have a remarkable sister.  The best big sister in the entire world.

I am happy that my family is healthy and happy….and a new little life will be brought into our family soon.  Welcome to our world little baby Pinix.  We will shower you with love.

I am happy that I have such good friends that I care for so deeply.  I am also happy that I am able to tell them how much I love them.  I also make a promise to them that I will continue to support them, help them, love them, and enjoy them.

This Christmas I have a lot to thank God for….my life, the direction I’m headed….and the kindness I have reclaimed in my heart.


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