Ok, so for the past couple of weeks or since the MRI on the knee I have been slacking. I admit it. I wasn’t at the gym that much…really, only once. I made up my mind the night of January 1, to kick it back up. While I am pleased with my fitness progress, I still am not where I want to be. I know I’m not going to have a six-pack ever, but I want to be really healthy, really fit. I’ve worked out each night at the hotel gym which is basically doing the elliptical and “ups” (as my friend Grant calls them). I don’t do the pull ups. What are you nuts? I only do those on the machine at the gym that assists me.
I am calling Tyron tomorrow to start back up with the twice weekly workouts with him. Those workouts that make me drip with sweat, and curse his name the next day when I move.
I still have room to grow in spiritual and emotional areas. “Spiritual energy is the one kind that never runs out.” I am hoping that all three areas continue to strengthen.
Now I’m thinking that new goals should be good not only for me but for others as well. I’m going to increase my meditation as I became lax with that as well. It helps me so much to center and to calm and to just listen. I’ve learned to just listen and the answers will come.
“If you practice gratefulness there is a sense of respect towards others.” I am very grateful that I have the life I have, the family and the friends; a small little life that suits me down to the ground.
I used to be so afraid of telling people that I love them, especially my family members, and I’m not sure why. I also was terrified of telling a man I was in a relationship with that I loved him. Then I had this epiphany that no-one thought less of me when I said the words and if I don’t put it out there I won’t get it back. Love grows by giving. If the worst thing that happens to you in your life is that you find out you are loved, then you are very lucky.
I now tell my friends and my family how much they mean to me. Do you know what? No-one has pulled away. If they do, it’s their problem not mine. I told someone a couple of weeks ago that once I was madly in love with him. He didn’t flinch, at least I couldn’t tell if he did, because I’m pretty sure he knew it.
I want to get to that point in my life that every moment is grace. I want to practice kindness with love. St Francis of Assisi said “for it is in giving that we receive” and the older I get, the more I believe it. I don’t give up on others; I might distance myself from a bad situation but in my heart there is always hope for them to mend their ways.
Do I want to be loved? absolutely. I know I am. Do I want to be in love? absolutely. But I’m not and I’m so ok with that situation. No woman can control her destiny if she doesn’t give to herself as much as she gives of herself.
So back to kicking it back into gear. I’m taking the stairs UP and DOWN here in cow country. My abs are sore from so many planks in my hotel room. Now I have to concentrate on working my legs and really getting them strong again as January 20th is the knee day. I am also thinking what fast food place I’m going to stop at to get lunch on my way home.