I have come to believe that the outcome of our lives depends on the choices we make at critical moments.
If all I have to do is be brave and kind and good to trees or in my case, animals, then my life should be simple.
If I can clarify my inner confusion, and maintain my bearings, I can find a fix to every bad situation and a focus. I’ve started doing this now by asking people I trust to give me their input. I now use patience, not passivity, not my bull-in-a-china-shop method of years past. I now clarify my situation and act on what I CLEARLY see.
If I don’t do it this way, the result is self-defeat and I’m not there anymore.
I’ve also learned that reaching out to people who have gone through a similar situation has helped me tremendously. Bad situations aren’t resolved in isolation. I tended to draw into myself, finding someone who has gone through the same situation that I face accomplishes several things at once. It gives me an example to follow, a confidant who understands my plight and an alternative to withdrawing into isolation. Victims always feel alone and helpless. Reaching out to someone who has proven, through their own lives, that they were not victimized by the bad thing I am facing now.
I’m not talking about hand-holding or shared misery. But there’s no substitute for talking to a person who has entered a dark place and come out successfully.
I am so lucky to be surrounded by these people who are willing to share their lives with me and their support and their kindness.