Throughout my life I’ve always had “guy” friends. I think that has to do with a great appreciation of men starting at an early age with my grandfather and my father and the other men in my life including all the University of Tulsa athletes that hung out at our house.
Added to that is a love of sports, both played and watched that draws me to men. I do have some wonderful girlfriends as well, but even they aren’t overly “girly”. We do girly things occasionally but don’t act it all the time. I think that comes from the strong, intelligent, hard-working women I was raised with. I find it incredibly easy to talk to men.
It pains me when I get very close to a male friend and then the woman he chooses doesn’t want him around me. It’s obvious by constant calls. The moment they get into a committed relationship, some of them freak. Others are strong and confident and know that there is nothing more than a good friendship. My friend K met his wife J and she and I became friends instantly. She is the one that sends me emails about the kids and what is going on in their life. My friend J started a relationship with K and she and I are growing closer as friends. Both are wonderfully confident females.
One of my best male friends, R, in Dallas met his soon to be ex-wife and when he told me he was getting married to her I begged him not to. Not because I wanted him for myself; he is like my brother, but because she was and is a bitch. Truly. At his wedding she turned her head when the Priest said, “you may kiss your bride.” There was a stunned silence from the congregation. My friend K whispered, “uh oh” to me.
Two weeks later R calls me to take me to lunch and tells me his wife, on their honeymoon, wouldn’t have sex. Uh oh indeed.
Now 20 years later R is divorced and raising four girls because his wife left. I wouldn’t say it to him. He knows.
The other night, after an evening out with friends, I told a good friend that I was going to miss him. He told me hours before that he was getting married. And I know, in my gut, that I won’t see him. I wish him well and I wish him happiness. I hope that his new marriage is a success. But I will miss him.