Sailing on Calm Seas


I sit here researching cruises to the Caribbean or my Christmas vacation and I realized that my life is sailing along swimmingly.  That might be a mixed metaphor.

My career is in high gear with a job I love.  Although “stretched” as my boss calls it, I awaken each day happy to go to work.  For this I am immensely grateful.  I am recognized as smart, driven and a leader.  I also evaluate each day what I need to grow stronger within my position.

My personal life is good….great, in fact.  I have accepted my shortcomings and deal with them including the fact that for the rest of my life I will have a membership at St. John’s Health Club and until Tyron is too old to work me, I will have regular workouts with the man who is training me to be a Navy Seal.

My personal life is really good.  I am loved, I have a wonderful family….I adore my little nieces to the point that I want to squeal, just as they do when they see me.  Do you know how wonderful it is to be greeted with “TC!” and both running to me to throw their arms around me and offer kisses?  Is life better than that?  NO.

When I was in college my sister came to visit with my Mom bringing my niece and my nephew both small.  I remember walking down the sidewalk from the library at OSU and seeing them in the distance.  When they saw me, they ran at me with their arms opened wide calling my name…”TC!”   It is a wonderful feeling to always have that…generation after generation.

My love for W is deep.  It always has been.  We have gone through way too many peaks and valleys in our 16.5 years.  But now, we’ve come to a place where trust is restored, and kindness, and respect are paramount.  We  both have changed for the better….and recognize our faults and our merits and, at least on my part, have learned to be patient.

Good things come to those who wait.   That is what my Mother always said while I rolled my eyes at her.  But, you know, she was right…most of the time.  Yes, Mom, I just said that.  You’re smiling in Heaven, aren’t you?

Honestly, I never imagined myself with anyone else but W…from the start.  I’m humble with him now and tell him things I wouldn’t have said 10 years ago.  If the very least I am in your life is your friend, then that is good.

A terrific friend of mine made a point with me last weekend when he said, “other people fall in love, break up and are hurt…you and I are devastated.”  True J.  So true.

There was a time when I fell to my knees when I heard news that broke my heart.  I literally fell  to my knees in anguish and pain and total devastation because my heart was shattered.  I honestly didn’t think I could stand it.  I cried out to my Dad to help me….the strongest man I knew….and strength to get up off the floor came.  Day by day I learned to be stronger.  I don’t ever want to go through that again.  I have told my good friend R, that he saved me.  He truly did because he came to me in a time when I was at my wit’s end and heart-broken.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  For that, R, you and are are friends and the trust we share is strong.

Now….I’m planning a Christmas cruise and looking forward to each and every day and what it holds for me.  I look forward to my life and my challenges and for facing myself each day with honesty and integrity and proving that to the people I love.

Thank you to those that are watching out for me…for the angel on my shoulder…and for people telling me to be patient.  My heart is 10 times as big as it was before and my caring and respect for others is 10 times that.

I am so thankful for my family.  We are boring and have quiet little lives but we truly love each other and are ALWAYS there when the going gets tough.    I am so thankful for my friends.  To those who helped me when my parents died…for Regina for being my sounding board.  To Julie for prying into my personal life….and meaning that she really cared.  My Chicago peeps for being everything to me for such a long time and for still, being in my corner.  For all my friends in Tulsa who listen and respond and react accordingly.

I am good.  I am happy.  I am slightly drunk…but that is another story.

To you W.  My heart.

Life is good.

 

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